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These are by far the best IRC pranks ever done. They are not mine, I take no credit for them. But seriously these are hilarious
Wellhung: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like?
Sweetheart: I am wearing a red silk blouse, a miniskirt and high heels. I work
out every day, I'm toned and perfect. My measurements are 36-24-36. What do you
look like?
Wellhung: I'm 6'3" and about 250 pounds.I wear glasses and I have on
a pair of blue sweat pants I just bought from Walmart.I'm also wearing a T-shirt
with a few spots of barbecue sauce on it from dinner...it smells funny.
Sweetheart: I want you.Would you like to screw me?
Wellhung: OK
Sweetheart:
We're in my bedroom.There's soft music playing on the stereo and candles on my
dresser and night table.I'm looking up into your eyes, smiling. My hand works
its way down to your crotch and begins to fondle your huge, swelling bulge.
Wellhung: I'm gulping, I'm beginning to sweat.
Sweetheart: I'm pulling up your
shirt and kissing your chest.
Wellhung: Now I'm unbuttoning your blouse.My hands
are trembling.
Sweetheart: I'm moaning softly.
Wellhung: I'm taking hold of your
blouse and sliding it off slowly.
Sweetheart: I'm throwing my head back in
pleasure.The cool silk slides off my warm skin.I'm rubbing your bulge faster,
pulling and rubbing.
Wellhung: My hand suddenly jerks spastically and
accidentally rips a hole in your blouse.I'm sorry.
Sweetheart: That's OK, it
wasn't really too expensive.
Wellhung: I'll pay for it.
Sweetheart: Don't worry
about it.I'm wearing a lacy black bra.My soft breasts are rising and falling, as
I breath harder and harder.
Wellhung: I'm fumbling with the clasp on your bra.I
think it's stuck. Do you have any scissors?
Sweetheart: I take your hand and
kiss it softly.I'm reaching back undoing the clasp. The bra slides off my body.
The air caresses my breasts. My nipples are erect for you.
Wellhung: How did you
do that? I'm picking up the bra and inspecting the clasp.
Sweetheart: I'm
arching my back. Oh baby. I just want to feel your tongue all over me.
Wellhung:
I'm dropping the bra. Now I'm licking your, you know, breasts. They're neat!
Sweetheart: I'm running my fingers through your hair. Now I'm nibbling your ear.
Wellhung: I suddenly sneeze. Your breasts are covered with spit and phlegm.
Sweetheart: What?
Wellhung: I'm so sorry. Really.
Sweetheart: I'm wiping your
phlegm off my breasts with the remains of my blouse.
Wellhung: I'm taking the
sopping wet blouse from you. I drop it with a plop.
Sweetheart: OK. I'm pulling
your sweat pants down and rubbing your hard tool.
Wellhung: I'm screaming like a
woman. Your hands are cold! Yeeee!
Sweetheart: I'm pulling up my miniskirt. Take
off my panties.
Wellhung: I'm pulling off your panties. My tongue is going all
over, in and out nibbling on you...umm... wait a minute.
Sweetheart: What's the
matter?
Wellhung: I've got a pubic hair caught in my throat. I'm choking.
Sweetheart: Are you OK?
Wellhung: I'm having a coughing fit. I'm turning all
red.
Sweetheart: Can I help?
Wellhung: I'm running to the kitchen, choking
wildly. I'm fumbling through the cabinets, looking for a cup. Where do you keep
your cups?
Sweetheart: In the cabinet to the right of the sink.
Wellhung: I'm
drinking a cup of water. There, that's better.
Sweetheart: Come back to me,
lover.
Wellhung: I'm washing the cup now.
Sweetheart: I'm on the bed arching for
you.
Wellhung: I'm drying the cup. Now I'm putting it back in the cabinet. And
now I'm walking back to the bedroom. Wait, it's dark, I'm lost. Where's the
bedroom?
Sweetheart: Last door on the left at the end of the hall.
Wellhung: I
found it.
Sweetheart: I'm tuggin' off your pants. I'm moaning. I want you so
badly.
Wellhung: Me too.
Sweetheart: Your pants are off. I kiss you
passionately-our naked bodies pressing each other.
Wellhung: Your face is
pushing my glasses into my face. It hurts. Sweetheart Why don't you take off
your glasses?
Wellhung: OK, but I can't see very well without them. I place the
glasses on the night table.
Sweetheart: I'm bending over the bed. Give it to me,
baby!
Wellhung: I have to pee. I'm fumbling my way blindly across the room and
toward the bathroom.
Sweetheart: Hurry back, lover.
Wellhung: I find the
bathroom and it's dark. I'm feeling around for the toilet. I lift the lid.
Sweetheart: I'm waiting eagerly for your return.
Wellhung: I'm done going. I'm
feeling around for the flush handle, but I can't find it. Uh-oh!
Sweetheart:
What's the matter now?
Wellhung: I've realized that I've peed into your laundry
hamper. Sorry again. I'm walking back to the bedroom now, blindly feeling my
way.
Sweetheart: Mmm, yes. Come on.
Wellhung: OK, now I'm going to put my...you
know ...thing...in your...you know...woman's thing.
Sweetheart: Yes! Do it,
baby! Do it!
Wellhung: I'm touching your smooth butt. It feels so nice. I kiss
your neck. Umm, I'm having a little trouble here.
Sweetheart: I'm moving my ass
back and forth, moaning. I can't stand it another second! Slide in! Screw me
now!
Wellhung: I'm flaccid.
Sweetheart: What?
Wellhung: I'm limp. I can't
sustain an erection.
Sweetheart: I'm standing up and turning around; an
incredulous look on my face.
Wellhung: I'm shrugging with a sad look on my face,
my weiner all floppy. I'm going to get my glasses and see what's wrong.
Sweetheart: No, never mind. I'm getting dressed. I'm putting on my underwear.
Now I'm putting on my wet nasty blouse.
Wellhung: No wait! Now I'm squinting,
trying to find the night table. I'm feeling along the dresser, knocking over
cans of hair spray, picture frames and your candles.
Sweetheart: I'm buttoning
my blouse. Now I'm putting on my shoes.
Wellhung: I've found my glasses. I'm
putting them on. My God! One of our candles fell on the curtain. The curtain is
on fire! I'm pointing at it, a shocked look on my face.
Sweetheart: Go to hell.
I'm logging off, you loser!
Wellhung: Now the carpet is on fire! Oh noooo!
Sweetheart:
bravenet.com